Canyon Country Zephyr page 2

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tour would have never occurred.

Yet, it was that same global journey that made Mark Twain a household name, from Sydney to Liverpool. Twain always noted the ironies.

But tragedy relentlessly pursued him. Eight years later, his beloved wife of 34 years, Olivia, died and, in 1908, his daughter Jean died at the family home. She had long suffered from seizures and she drowned in her own bath,

cczephyr@gmail.com

Twain included himself

among the sinners

and his own greed and

consumptive life

cost him dearly. To his last breath,

he never forgave himself.

when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!" 1901

Twain included himself among the sinners and his own greed and consumptive life cost him dearly. To his last breath, he never forgave himself.

The success of his early novels brought Twain worldwide fame and wealth of a scale he could never have imagined as a boy in Hannibal. But the gifted writer had no financial sense at all. He lived extravagantly, built a magnificent home for his family in New Haven, Connecticut, and invested wildly in dubious schemes and machines. Twain fancied himself an inventor of sorts and was fascinated by technology. He once patented a device called an "Improvement in Adjustable and Detachable Straps for Garments"

MARK TWAIN...A CENTURY AFTER HE HITCHED A RIDE ON HALLEY'S COMET

Mark Twain once said, "I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one" Since he only briefly succumbed to that unspeakable profession, I can assume that his relationship with God was considerably more successful than mine has been. Starting the 22nd year of this "thing that will not leave," and The Zephyr's second as an internet incarnation, I have more than once remembered Sam Clemens' words.

Still it isn't as though Twain himself felt any close proximity to the Deity. In his later years, Mark Twain rarely had a kind word to say about the Almighty. He particularly reviled the hypocrisy of God's followers and loathed Christians' talent for twisting New Testament scripture to suit their needs..

"If Christ were here," he noted, "there is one thing he would not be—a Christian." He opposed war and nationalism and attacked Theodore Roosevelt's incursions into the affairs of foreign countries. He tinkered with pacifism. In "A Salutation from the 19th to the 20th Century," December 31,1900 he wrote:

"I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored, from pirate raids in Kiaochow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and towel, but hide the looking glass."

Twain infuriated Roosevelt and when they were once scheduled to appear on the same stage at the same time, TR took great pains to avoid his nemesis and heckler. Twain seldom passed an opportunity to heckle and, as always, he knew where to look for the best targets. Though he once said, "The lack of money is the root of all evil," a reference to worldwide crushing poverty, he knew that too much of a good thing could ruin any man:

"Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite—but they all worship money."and "This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth—ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be

while having one.

In his final years, those who knew him best thought Sam Clemens had already died; that it was only Mark Twain who continued to walk the New York streets and attend countless affairs and banquets to honor him. Little of Sam was left.

In 1909, Twain noted,

"I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.'"

On April 21,1910, Sam Clemens...Mark Twain died quietly at his home. On the southern horizon, Halley's Comet glowed in the fading sunset sky. A century later, his wry and candid observations of a world he both loved and loathed still make us laugh with joy, and squirm with discomfort. That was Twain.

"If Christ were here," he noted, "there is one thing he would not be —a Christian."

THE BIG HEAT vs THE BIG COLD... and the relative nature of misery.

I left the United States again for Australia in November and about two weeks after my departure, Monticello was hit by a series of storms that kept everyone miserable for most of the winter. Each time the sun appeared and the temperature rose, and as hopes climbed that winter might finally be over, another blizzard would dash them. The last white-out dumped 41 inches in a day. The cumulative total by mid-March exceeded 120 inches and this morning, with Spring just hours away, more than three feet of snow still blanket my yard. When (or if) it finally melts, we can expect one of the biggest mud holes in recent history to replace the white stuff. Right now, brown ooze sounds like a pleasant change.

But I missed most of this. While my friends were enduring a winter without end, I faced the opposite in weather extremes. Across Australia, temperatures reached and remained at record highs. In Western Australia, the rain stopped falling in early November and it never so much as spit again, at least while I was there.

Because I was camping much of the time, I could not es-

to replace suspenders.

It was, however, his pet project, the Paige typesetting machine that destroyed his world. The machine was an intricate and complicated wonder to behold when it worked, and Twain was convinced it would revolutionize the print industry. He gambled his personal fortune on the Paige and his wife's inheritance as well.

But the Paige was unreliable, its myriad of parts broke down frequently and eventually, the Twains lost everything.

Humiliated to the point of despair by his foolishness, he was forced to file for bankruptcy. Twain nonetheless took to the lecture circuit to pay down his debts.

During his world tour in 1896, the Clemens learned that their daughter Susy, and Sam's favorite, had died of meningitis. The family was devastated. Clemens believed his decision to leave Susy in the States had contributed to her death, and had he not recklessly indebted his family, the

www.canyoncountryzephyr.com cczephyr@gmail.com

moabzephyr@yahoo.com

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

Mark Twain

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	tour would have never occurred. Yet, it was that same global journey that made Mark Twain a household name, from Sydney to Liverpool. Twain always noted the ironies. But tragedy relentlessly pursued him. Eight years later, his beloved wife of 34 years, Olivia, died and, in 1908, his daughter Jean died at the family home. She had long suffered from seizures and she drowned in her own bath, cczephyr@gmail.com Twain included himself among the sinners and his own greed and consumptive life cost him dearly. To his last breath, he never forgave himself. when they get all these hypocrites assembled there!" 1901 Twain included himself among the sinners and his own greed and consumptive life cost him dearly. To his last breath, he never forgave himself. The success of his early novels brought Twain worldwide fame and wealth of a scale he could never have imagined as a boy in Hannibal. But the gifted writer had no financial sense at all. He lived extravagantly, built a magnificent home for his family in New Haven, Connecticut, and invested wildly in dubious schemes and machines. Twain fancied himself an inventor of sorts and was fascinated by technology. He once patented a device called an "Improvement in Adjustable and Detachable Straps for Garments" MARK TWAIN...A CENTURY AFTER HE HITCHED A RIDE ON HALLEY'S COMET Mark Twain once said, "I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one" Since he only briefly succumbed to that unspeakable profession, I can assume that his relationship with God was considerably more successful than mine has been. Starting the 22nd year of this "thing that will not leave," and The Zephyr's second as an internet incarnation, I have more than once remembered Sam Clemens' words. Still it isn't as though Twain himself felt any close proximity to the Deity. In his later years, Mark Twain rarely had a kind word to say about the Almighty. He particularly reviled the hypocrisy of God's followers and loathed Christians' talent for twisting New Testament scripture to suit their needs.. "If Christ were here," he noted, "there is one thing he would not be—a Christian." He opposed war and nationalism and attacked Theodore Roosevelt's incursions into the affairs of foreign countries. He tinkered with pacifism. In "A Salutation from the 19th to the 20th Century," December 31,1900 he wrote: "I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored, from pirate raids in Kiaochow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and towel, but hide the looking glass." Twain infuriated Roosevelt and when they were once scheduled to appear on the same stage at the same time, TR took great pains to avoid his nemesis and heckler. Twain seldom passed an opportunity to heckle and, as always, he knew where to look for the best targets. Though he once said, "The lack of money is the root of all evil," a reference to worldwide crushing poverty, he knew that too much of a good thing could ruin any man: "Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite—but they all worship money."and "This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth—ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be while having one. In his final years, those who knew him best thought Sam Clemens had already died; that it was only Mark Twain who continued to walk the New York streets and attend countless affairs and banquets to honor him. Little of Sam was left. In 1909, Twain noted, "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.'" On April 21,1910, Sam Clemens...Mark Twain died quietly at his home. On the southern horizon, Halley's Comet glowed in the fading sunset sky. A century later, his wry and candid observations of a world he both loved and loathed still make us laugh with joy, and squirm with discomfort. That was Twain. "If Christ were here," he noted, "there is one thing he would not be —a Christian." THE BIG HEAT vs THE BIG COLD... and the relative nature of misery. I left the United States again for Australia in November and about two weeks after my departure, Monticello was hit by a series of storms that kept everyone miserable for most of the winter. Each time the sun appeared and the temperature rose, and as hopes climbed that winter might finally be over, another blizzard would dash them. The last white-out dumped 41 inches in a day. The cumulative total by mid-March exceeded 120 inches and this morning, with Spring just hours away, more than three feet of snow still blanket my yard. When (or if) it finally melts, we can expect one of the biggest mud holes in recent history to replace the white stuff. Right now, brown ooze sounds like a pleasant change. But I missed most of this. While my friends were enduring a winter without end, I faced the opposite in weather extremes. Across Australia, temperatures reached and remained at record highs. In Western Australia, the rain stopped falling in early November and it never so much as spit again, at least while I was there. Because I was camping much of the time, I could not es- to replace suspenders. It was, however, his pet project, the Paige typesetting machine that destroyed his world. The machine was an intricate and complicated wonder to behold when it worked, and Twain was convinced it would revolutionize the print industry. He gambled his personal fortune on the Paige and his wife's inheritance as well. But the Paige was unreliable, its myriad of parts broke down frequently and eventually, the Twains lost everything. Humiliated to the point of despair by his foolishness, he was forced to file for bankruptcy. Twain nonetheless took to the lecture circuit to pay down his debts. During his world tour in 1896, the Clemens learned that their daughter Susy, and Sam's favorite, had died of meningitis. The family was devastated. Clemens believed his decision to leave Susy in the States had contributed to her death, and had he not recklessly indebted his family, the www.canyoncountryzephyr.com cczephyr@gmail.com moabzephyr@yahoo.com Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. Mark Twain

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