Canyon Country Zephyr Page 2

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It was just a few weeks ago, back home in Utah, that I was whining about the $20 price tag on a Lexmark ink cartridge. That same dinky little piece of black plastic costs $45 at your local Big W (Australia's Wal-Mart Evil Twin). I tried to have a house key duplicated at the local hardware store—$16. "I don't want a dozen," I said. The guy just stared at me. "Sixteen, mate...take it or leave it."

A pint of exotic beer at the trendier Perth pubs" Twenty dollars. One beer.

And if you can find it, a can of Dr. Pepper costs $3.95.

With the U.S. dollar in free fall, I'm learning to five without extra keys and specially brews. The Aussies keep spending. But damn I miss my Dr. Peppers.

One worry though for the Land of "No Worries." Just last week, the government announced that Australians' personal debt now equals the country's Gross Domestic Product (GDP). It means every Aussie adult owes an average of $74,000. Down the road, sooner or later, the Real World may catch up after all.

I love Australia. It's not where I "go on vacation." It's like a second home. Away from the coastal cities and away from the mines, there are still vast expanses of golden pastoral lands, gum tree forests, and dense wild country that Aussies just call The Bush. And it is a country dominated by good, decent people who continue to bestow their generosity and kindness upon me, even when I don't deserve it.

But the real wealth of this country was truly in its people and its land and its lifestyle. I think many Aussies would agree they were a lot richer before they discovered all this goddamn money.

CLIMATE CHANGE & COPENHAGEN & AUSTRALIA

While the carbon pollution from Australia rates among the highest per capita in the world, the media certainly does its job here reporting the facts. While Americans glued themselves to the Tiger Woods story, here, climate change is the issue of the decade and the comprehensive and balanced in depth reporting is remarkable. But it is no less controversial, on so many levels.

Its prime minister, Labour's Kevin Rudd, led the party to victory in 2007 with a promise to seriously address global warming and assured dramatic action if he were elected. But his rhetoric, like Obama's in the US has, so far, been eloquent and utterly worthless.

Rudd put together a Climate Change Scheme that excluded agriculture from the mix, gave subsidies to coal and, like the USA depended heavily on a cap & trade program to meet watered down emissions reductions goals.

He was able to persuade the leader of the conservative opposition, Malcom Turnbull, to support his tepid bill, only to see Turnbull overthrown by climate change skeptics from his own party.

Here in Australia, where the Green party actually wields a bit of power, its leader Bob Brown and the Opposition's new leader, Tony Abbott, found themselves BOTH oppos-

cczephyr@gmail.com

even noticed. It has been business as usual. Home prices are still climbing and unemployment is barely 596 (just a bit lower than the Australian national average and HALF the rate in the USA). A story in this week's daily "West Australian" announced plans to dramatically expand the airline fleets to handle exploding demands from the "next resources boom."

Western Australia's "prosperity" is inextricably and forever tied (for as long as they last) to commodities...natural resources...money. GREED.

WA is a treasure house of natural resources—gold, silver, uranium, iron ore, nickel, copper, manganese...the stuff that China and India and other Asian nations destined to rule the world are buying up as fast as it can be mined. Australia's future is now tied to Asia, not America and Europe. We're history. Burnt toast. Shit on a shingle.

And sorry about all that pollution.

My doctor told me,

1) I wasn't consuming enough

carcinogens and

2) he insisted my carbon footprint

was too small.

So I'm doing my best to make

people happier.

And so the Australians open one new mine after another, one gas plant bigger than the one before and China buys all those commodities to fuel its massive and still expanding manufacturing base, creates products from those resources and sells them back to them. And to us in the USA. And everywhere.

Even during the Great Recession, the Chinese kept buying, stockpiling commodities at reduced prices. So unemployment only dipped a bit here and prices stayed high. The cost of living is extraordinary. While both the US and Australia can claim average annual family incomes of about $50,000 to $60,000, the price Aussies pay to five is staggering.

In 1999, an average home in Perth was $147,000. Today it exceeds $430,000. In the trendy parts of WAs capital city, an upscale home that fetched $350,000 in 1999 now boasts a $1.3 million price tag.

Consequently, many Aussies can't afford to buy. But the demand for rentals has sent that market through the roof as well. A modest three bedroom home routinely rents for $350 to $400 a week. Yes....a WEEK. Plus utilities.

LIVE (SWAT!) FROM AUSTRALIA... Hand me a Cuban and Screw my Carbon Footprint...I'm an AMURKIN!

Cover the children's eyes. Avert your own, all you purist anti-smoking wankers. That's me puffing on a fine Havana cigar, courtesy of Fidel, Raul, the Ghost of Che and the Cuban Revolution. They're legal here in Australia (the Aussies have determined that the importation of a good cigar does not threaten their national security), so I am free to puff at will. As Rudyard Kipling once said, "A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke."

And sorry about all that pollution. My doctor told me, l) I wasn't consuming enough carcinogens and 2) he insisted my carbon footprint was too small. So I'm doing my best to make people happier.

Again, here I am in this sunburnt, fly-ridden country, for reasons I cannot begin to explain. I have a love/hate relationship with Australia. Co-dependent. Dysfunctional. I come back like a heroin addict in dire need of a fix.

As I exited the Perth domestic terminal, I was greeted by about a hundred bush flies who have been with me ever since. I've given some of them names. One of them, I find curiously attractive.

This may be my last extended visit for a while. For more than a decade I have been trying to outrun the flies and Reality, but they and it finally caught up with me. Western Australia has entered the 2lst Century with a bang, just as I was desperately seeking asylum in the 19th. I've known this for a while but have been in Denial.

When I first touched ground a decade ago, I thought I'd pulled off a coup. I really had found the Place that Time Forgot. But the world can turn over many times in ten years. It did double inverted flipflops with a counterclockwise twist here. I was shocked. Still am.

Then along came the "Global Economic Crisis" and I had such high hopes. I had even entertained the notion that our new leaders, both here in Oz and back in the States, might dare to re-define prosperity and wealth itself. I dreamed we might see true visionaries who had the courage to say: "All this...stuff...is destroying us. Happiness is not an iPod or a plasma tv....It's an empty promise that leaves us even hungrier for more."

But...nope...didn't happen. Here in WA (Western Australia), the economy dipped briefly, but I'm not sure most

www.canyoncountryzephyr.com

cczephyr@gmail.com

moabzephyr@yahoo.com

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	It was just a few weeks ago, back home in Utah, that I was whining about the $20 price tag on a Lexmark ink cartridge. That same dinky little piece of black plastic costs $45 at your local Big W (Australia's Wal-Mart Evil Twin). I tried to have a house key duplicated at the local hardware store—$16. "I don't want a dozen," I said. The guy just stared at me. "Sixteen, mate...take it or leave it." A pint of exotic beer at the trendier Perth pubs" Twenty dollars. One beer. And if you can find it, a can of Dr. Pepper costs $3.95. With the U.S. dollar in free fall, I'm learning to five without extra keys and specially brews. The Aussies keep spending. But damn I miss my Dr. Peppers. One worry though for the Land of "No Worries." Just last week, the government announced that Australians' personal debt now equals the country's Gross Domestic Product (GDP). It means every Aussie adult owes an average of $74,000. Down the road, sooner or later, the Real World may catch up after all. I love Australia. It's not where I "go on vacation." It's like a second home. Away from the coastal cities and away from the mines, there are still vast expanses of golden pastoral lands, gum tree forests, and dense wild country that Aussies just call The Bush. And it is a country dominated by good, decent people who continue to bestow their generosity and kindness upon me, even when I don't deserve it. But the real wealth of this country was truly in its people and its land and its lifestyle. I think many Aussies would agree they were a lot richer before they discovered all this goddamn money. CLIMATE CHANGE & COPENHAGEN & AUSTRALIA While the carbon pollution from Australia rates among the highest per capita in the world, the media certainly does its job here reporting the facts. While Americans glued themselves to the Tiger Woods story, here, climate change is the issue of the decade and the comprehensive and balanced in depth reporting is remarkable. But it is no less controversial, on so many levels. Its prime minister, Labour's Kevin Rudd, led the party to victory in 2007 with a promise to seriously address global warming and assured dramatic action if he were elected. But his rhetoric, like Obama's in the US has, so far, been eloquent and utterly worthless. Rudd put together a Climate Change Scheme that excluded agriculture from the mix, gave subsidies to coal and, like the USA depended heavily on a cap & trade program to meet watered down emissions reductions goals. He was able to persuade the leader of the conservative opposition, Malcom Turnbull, to support his tepid bill, only to see Turnbull overthrown by climate change skeptics from his own party. Here in Australia, where the Green party actually wields a bit of power, its leader Bob Brown and the Opposition's new leader, Tony Abbott, found themselves BOTH oppos- cczephyr@gmail.com even noticed. It has been business as usual. Home prices are still climbing and unemployment is barely 596 (just a bit lower than the Australian national average and HALF the rate in the USA). A story in this week's daily "West Australian" announced plans to dramatically expand the airline fleets to handle exploding demands from the "next resources boom." Western Australia's "prosperity" is inextricably and forever tied (for as long as they last) to commodities...natural resources...money. GREED. WA is a treasure house of natural resources—gold, silver, uranium, iron ore, nickel, copper, manganese...the stuff that China and India and other Asian nations destined to rule the world are buying up as fast as it can be mined. Australia's future is now tied to Asia, not America and Europe. We're history. Burnt toast. Shit on a shingle. And sorry about all that pollution. My doctor told me, 1) I wasn't consuming enough carcinogens and 2) he insisted my carbon footprint was too small. So I'm doing my best to make people happier. And so the Australians open one new mine after another, one gas plant bigger than the one before and China buys all those commodities to fuel its massive and still expanding manufacturing base, creates products from those resources and sells them back to them. And to us in the USA. And everywhere. Even during the Great Recession, the Chinese kept buying, stockpiling commodities at reduced prices. So unemployment only dipped a bit here and prices stayed high. The cost of living is extraordinary. While both the US and Australia can claim average annual family incomes of about $50,000 to $60,000, the price Aussies pay to five is staggering. In 1999, an average home in Perth was $147,000. Today it exceeds $430,000. In the trendy parts of WAs capital city, an upscale home that fetched $350,000 in 1999 now boasts a $1.3 million price tag. Consequently, many Aussies can't afford to buy. But the demand for rentals has sent that market through the roof as well. A modest three bedroom home routinely rents for $350 to $400 a week. Yes....a WEEK. Plus utilities. LIVE (SWAT!) FROM AUSTRALIA... Hand me a Cuban and Screw my Carbon Footprint...I'm an AMURKIN! Cover the children's eyes. Avert your own, all you purist anti-smoking wankers. That's me puffing on a fine Havana cigar, courtesy of Fidel, Raul, the Ghost of Che and the Cuban Revolution. They're legal here in Australia (the Aussies have determined that the importation of a good cigar does not threaten their national security), so I am free to puff at will. As Rudyard Kipling once said, "A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke." And sorry about all that pollution. My doctor told me, l) I wasn't consuming enough carcinogens and 2) he insisted my carbon footprint was too small. So I'm doing my best to make people happier. Again, here I am in this sunburnt, fly-ridden country, for reasons I cannot begin to explain. I have a love/hate relationship with Australia. Co-dependent. Dysfunctional. I come back like a heroin addict in dire need of a fix. As I exited the Perth domestic terminal, I was greeted by about a hundred bush flies who have been with me ever since. I've given some of them names. One of them, I find curiously attractive. This may be my last extended visit for a while. For more than a decade I have been trying to outrun the flies and Reality, but they and it finally caught up with me. Western Australia has entered the 2lst Century with a bang, just as I was desperately seeking asylum in the 19th. I've known this for a while but have been in Denial. When I first touched ground a decade ago, I thought I'd pulled off a coup. I really had found the Place that Time Forgot. But the world can turn over many times in ten years. It did double inverted flipflops with a counterclockwise twist here. I was shocked. Still am. Then along came the "Global Economic Crisis" and I had such high hopes. I had even entertained the notion that our new leaders, both here in Oz and back in the States, might dare to re-define prosperity and wealth itself. I dreamed we might see true visionaries who had the courage to say: "All this...stuff...is destroying us. Happiness is not an iPod or a plasma tv....It's an empty promise that leaves us even hungrier for more." But...nope...didn't happen. Here in WA (Western Australia), the economy dipped briefly, but I'm not sure most www.canyoncountryzephyr.com cczephyr@gmail.com moabzephyr@yahoo.com

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