Timber!

Always on the lookout for green ways to save the planet, many of America’s utilities have decided to switch to renewable sources of combustibles. And, of course, that means wood.

USA Today reports that “Many plants now burn bark, twigs and other waste wood. If wood power grows as expected, whole trees will have to be cut down to fuel the plants, says Pete Stewart of Forest2Market, a forest-industry analysis firm.”

Did he say whole trees? “Plants have promised to use waste wood, but ‘as soon as they get their permit and see how much it’s going to cost to do that, they change their tune,'” Stewart says.

In a nod to the few conservationists who still think about these things, USA Today notes that “Some environmentalists fear that the rise of wood power could devastate forests.”

Not to worry – “Bob Cleaves of the Biomass Power Association, an industry group, says that current laws and policies are sufficient to protect the environment.”

You bet! America’s forests stand proud and tall, veritable beacons of deep ecology as chain saws whir like maniacal hummingbirds, feeding our insatiable hunger for cheap stereo cabinets and green energy.

Calling Smokey the Bear!

posted by Mudd