green investing for fun and profit

Wondering what to do with the millions you made off the carry trade in Singapore currency? Worried about investing in sleazy corporate companies that pillage for profit? Time to rethink the game – now there’s neo-green investing!

“With Green Century’s mutual funds, you can use your investment dollars to help the environment. We seek competitive returns while we put your money to work for cleaner air, cleaner water and a healthier planet.”

On the other hand, when you buy stock in a company (take Wal-Mart, for example), you go through the open market, purchasing from some other bloke out there in Heartland America. Buying stock is basically a bet – that Wal-Mart’s earnings will go in the direction you want them to. Which is generally north of center.

Wal-Mart doesn’t care that you now own 1/10,000,000th of the company. They agree to pay you a dividend, assuming the quarterly profit allows it. Which, in the Mart’s case, usually turns out to be the case. You also get to vote on the company’s directors, direction, and future. It’s a goofy scheme at best, but still boils down to gambling on a horse. You don’t have to like the horse, just bet that it has the legs to come in ahead of the competition.

The karma part is your problem; call your guru (who probably owns a few shares of Wal-Mart).

What’s a bedazzled investor to do? These days – it’s anybody’s guess. All bets are off in the land of green backs: neo or otherwise.

But the emerging market in neo-green business is worth a glance. Who knows, you might become the proud owner of a mutual fund that bets on industrial windmills as they rampage across the fruited plains shredding birds and driving cows to distraction.

pass the portfolio.

posted by Mudd