EGGNOGS unite!

From the New York Times – “But before we cede the entire moral penthouse to ‘committed vegetarians’ and ‘strong ethical vegans,‘ we might consider that plants no more aspire to being stir-fried in a wok than a hog aspires to being peppercorn-studded in my Christmas clay pot. This is not meant as a trite argument or a chuckled aside. Plants are lively and seek to keep it that way.”

Ahoy! There goes the broccoli. Poor omnivores. What silly moniker will they come up with next? How about someone who only eats fruit as it falls from the tree, along with nuts that land in one’s basket by gravity? How about “Es-chewers”? Too cerebral? Maybe “Ethically Galvanized Green Nerd Grazers (Eggnogs)”? Yeah – that works.

And lest we forget – Homo erectus asphaltus must have a wardrobe that’s free of guilt as well. No cotton, silk, or even hemp for Eggnogs. No indeed. We’re talking recycled seaweed, pine straw and tortoise shells. Maybe a used tire to round things off.

Dumpster Divers Anonymous meeting begins in 5 minutes!

posted by Mudd