I am without a doubt, the last of the Oldtimers...My name is Jack Crabb and I am the sole white survivor of the Battle of the Little Bighorn, popularly known as Custer’s Last Stand...now you just sit there and learn something....I know’d General George Armstrong Custer for what he was...and I know’d the Indians for what they was...

...The Human Bein’s adopted me as one of their own (and) my real teacher was my adopted grandpa, Ol’ Lodgeskins...he taught me to read a trail and the Cheyenne language. For a boy it was a kind of Paradise. I wasn’t just playin’ Indians, I was livin’ Indians!

Conversation between Jack Crabb (Little Big Man) and Old Lodgeskins...

"I don’t understand it Grandfather...Why would they try to kill women and children?"

"Because they are strange. They do not seem to know where the Center of the Earth is...We must have a war on these cowards and teach them a lesson."

About to be captured by the US Cavalry...

"I’m a White Man! Didn’t you hear me say, ‘God Bless my mother? God Bless George Washington?’ I mean what kind of an Indian what say a fool thing like that?"

From Mrs Louise Pendrake (wife to the Reverend Pendrake) upon Jack’s return to ‘White Civilization’...

"It is my Christian duty to give this boy an immediate and thorough bath...Take your clothes off, Jack...every stitch. But I shall avert my eyes at the necessary moment."

From Aladyce Merryweather...snake oil salesman and Jack’s new mentor...

"You’re improving Jack, but you can’t get rid of that streak of honesty in you...the one that ruined you was that damn Indian...he gave you a vision of moral order in the universe and there isn’t any. Those stars twinkle in a void and the two-legged creature schemes and dreams beneath them...all in vain, Jack. Two-legged creature will believe anything, and the more preposterous, the better. Whales speak French at the bottom of the ocean...Horses of Arabia have silver wings. I have sold all these propositions..."

"...Maybe we’re all fools and none of it matters."

"....Aye."

"Go snake eyes, Jack...like this!"

During Jack Crabb’s gunslinger days as "The Soda Pop Kid."

"Might I ask who I are addressin’?"

"I’m Wild Bill Hickock."

"....Well...I’m pleased to meet you I’m sure."

"The pleasure’s mutual, Friend...Bring your soda pop here and set a while."

"What’re you so nervous about?"

"Gettin’ shot."

The arrival of General George Armstrong Custer...

"That is a pathetic scene. A ruined and desperate family, wiped out by economic ruin...I find it touching....Have you a trade? Then take my advice—Go West! You have nothing to fear from the Indians...I give you my personal guarantee..."

Little Big Man returns to the Human Beings and Old Lodgeskins...

"My son, seeing you again makes my heart soar like a hawk."

"Grandfather, I have a white wife."

"You do? That’s interesting. Does she cook and work hard?"

"Yes, Grandfather."

"That surprises me. Does she show pleasant enthusiasm when you mount her?"

"Well, of course, Grandfather."

"That surprises me even more...I tried one of them once but she didn’t show any enthusiasm at all."

After a massacre of Crabb’s Cheyenne friends by the US Cavalry...

"There’s no describin’ how I felt. An enemy had saved my life by the violent murder of one of my best friends...the World was too ridiculous to even bother livin’..."

Old Lodgeskins on Humanity and the White Men...

"Do you see this fine thing? Do you admire the humanity in it? Because the Human Beings believe everything is alive. Not only Man and the Animals but Water, Earth, Stone...Things that come from them. Like that hair. The Man from whom this hair came is bald on the Other Side because I own his scalp...This is the way things are. But the White Man—they believe everything is dead. Earth. Animals. People. Even their own people. If things keep trying to live, White Men will rub them out. That is the difference."

"Well...they didn’t call her ‘Diggin’ Bear’ for nuthin’ I can tell you that."

Custer to Jack Crabb...

"You’re no Cheyenne Brave...do I hang you? I think not. Get out. Your miserable life is not worth the reversal of a Custer Decision."

Wild Bill to Jack Crabb...

"You’re a sad sight, Hoss. You shoulda stuck to sody pop...here’s twenty bucks. Get gloriously drunk....but one thing I know Hoss, any damn fool can drink himself to Death."

Lulu Kane (formerly Mrs. Louise Pendrake)

"Well Jack...now you know. This is a house of...ill-fame. And I am a fallen flower...Not only is this life wicked and sinful, it isn’t even any fun."

Jack Crabb...

"I decided Life wasn’t fit to live and the only thing to do was to mingle with the twinklin’ stars..."

"But now, the time had come to look the devil in the eye and send him where he belongs. The only question was—how to get him there."

Custer and Crabb...

"What do you think I should do, mule skinner? Should I go in there or withdraw?"

General...you go down there! There are thousands of Indians down there and when they’re done with you, you won’t be nuthin’ but a greasy spot...This ain’t the Washita River, General, and these ain’t women and children. These are Sioux and Cheyenne braves."

Chief Lodgeskins...

"I want to die on my own land where Human Beings are buried in the Sky. There’s no other way to deal with the White Man, my son. Whatever else you say about the White Men, it must be admitted you cannot get rid of them."

"No Grandfather...I suppose not."

"There is an endless supply of White Men, but there always has been a limited number of Human Beings. We won today. We won’t win tomorrow."

His Death Chant...

"Come out and fight! It is a good day to fight. A good day to die!

"Thank you for making me a Human Being...Thank you for helping me to become a warrior. Thank you for my victories...and my defeats. Thank you for my vision and the blindness that helped me to see further.

"Now you have decided the Human Beings will walk a road that leads Nowhere...I am going to die now, unless Death wants to fight. And I ask you one last time to grant me the power to make things happen..."

"Grandfather?"

"....Am I still in this world?"

"Yes, Grandfather."

"I was afraid of that...well...sometimes the magic works. And sometimes it doesn’t. Let’s go back to the teepee and eat."