A LETTER TO THE ZEPHYR
& THE CITIZENS OF MOAB

From Rhea Cleaveland

I read the article "The Death of John Dinsmore" in the June/July issue, and since I am the often quoted "eyewitness neighbor" I thought that qualifies me to add my two bits to the matter.

What I would have given to have had a video camera that Monday night last November.

I took great pains then, filling out the police report to write down everything I heard and everything I saw, leaving out any personal thought or feeling. I believe I was very accurate in the order that things happened in.

Now eight months later imagine how I felt reading your article and reliving the night I saw an innocent man shot down in his own driveway. How many times has that scene run through my mind since that evening? The shock, the disbelief, dismay, confusion...it all still scares the hell out of me.

I still see the fire from the shot gun blast, I see John as he was hit, dropping like a stone. The white t-shirt he wore becoming red with his dark blood before he hits the ground. The sound of Holly's screams as she runs across the street screaming "NO! What have you done!" Screams that still wrench at my heart and bring instant tears with only a thought. I see the officers jumping on John, flipping him over, with knees in his back and at his neck, twisting his arms behind him to cuff him. An officer grabbing Holly and pulling her away, as she screams and struggles to reach her dying husband, not being allowed to ride with him to the hospital, being left to call someone to give her a ride.

Anyone hearing the sounds of that woman's cries knew a great injustice had been made in that moment. One that can never be taken back or ever made right. Where is her compensation? How was it so easily justified?

The officer was not charged with any fault. Maybe he wasn't at fault. But it seems to me it wasn't the best choice he could have made.

From the time the first officer arrived until the shot was fired, I was wondering why nothing was being done to defuse the situation. They had John trapped, he felt trapped, he reacted so. Why didn't someone try to talk to him? To flank him? He took a knife to a gun fight. I saw the knife, I saw the guns. It's obvious he wasn't thinking; someone there should have been thinking for him.

John was drunk, yes. Distraught, ok, suicidal, maybe so. At the end of his rope, no doubt. But he did not deserve to die. And doesn't deserve to be forgotten so quickly.

Where was the understanding, the compassion, the humanity, the judgment, the helpfulness of our trusted and trained law enforcement? Without dwelling on the should haves, would haves, could haves, I'm telling you outright: it could have been handled differently.

In my opinion, the officer that fired that fatal shot panicked. He didn't think. He didn't employ his options. "No time to back peddle"? Ridiculous. Why did he have a 12 gauge aimed at the man in the first place?

As a witness to this senseless murder, (yes, I said murder) I for one will think twice before calling the local police to help me out with a domestic dispute.

This "incident" MUST NOT be swept under the rug. John was a citizen of Moab. Moab where I was born, where I live, and where I'll be laid to rest (in due time, God willing), not because I made the mistake of calling 911 for help.

As citizens, as human beings, how can we feel good about ourselves as a whole when so much time and energy is spent on petty crap and so little on someone's life, or loss of life? John deserved better from our law enforcement. If you, any of you, woke tomorrow and found you could no longer cope, how comfortable would you be calling for help from people who depend on all their available weapons, weapons meant to use against us, if they feel threatened. Where's our recourse? Our security?

If those meant to protect and serve aren't capable of clear judgment and correct action and can't do a job without causing harm to innocent people, then we the public should be afraid, be very afraid!

I say these things not to judge. What happened that night, happened. Holly and her children will live on. The officer will continue. The rest of us that witnessed the events will keep going. But all of us have been changed by this to different degrees. I will forever see in my mind's eye the blast of that gun, that man fall and hear the screams from Holly's heart on that chilly November night. And wonder why it happened at all.

Every citizen of Moab should remember that John, no matter how imperfect, was human. He deserved better. He was hurting, crying out for help and compassion.

These things are free to give and cost NOTHING. The cost comes in the NOT GIVING!

Rhea Cleaveland


To Zephyr Main Page October-November 1998