We hear about child soldiers, boys from Sierra Leone and the Congo. Ishmael Beah’s bestseller, "A Long Way Gone," is a testament to the brutality waged against drugged children to fight the war of despots. But we rarely hear about girl soldiers and the plight of women carrying guns and using them. This is Rozina’s open wound tale and as I learn more from her memoir, piece by piece, she draws me into an abyss of darkness. Why do we continue to reenact violence against each other. And is the Jungian psychologist, James Hillman right when he says that as humans we have "a terrible love of war?" Eritrea and Ethiopia are close to starting yet another bloody conflict over the treaty that drew a new border by the United Nations. Both nations have violated aspects of this treaty. But diplomacy matters before unnecessary violence erupts once again.. The Bush administration is "cozy" with Ethiopia. Etitrea is a port across from the Middle East. The words "oil" and "access to oil" comes to mind, once again. Why should this issue, this story, matter to readers of the Canyon Country Zephyr? Because I believe awareness leads to responsible actions. We, too, are a nation at war. We seem to keep forgetting the blood of Iraq is on all of our hands. It is a testament to Jim Stiles that he has chosen to publish this story, "Saved By An Enemy." It reminds us we do not live in a desert of concern, but rather, we belong to a global consciousness that says the pain carried by one human being belongs to all of us. Amatetsan is still a warrior, only this time, she is a warrior of peace who cares enough to share her story of war and redemption with all of us. Terry Tempest Williams
The wind of the highlands of Eritrea blew hard that January afternoon in 1977. I was a seventeen year old girl on assignment in Asmara with the urban fighters of the ELF. Cold gusts of wind pushed and pulled people on the street and made my skin crack and bleed. Unlike most women who wore a traditional dress, I wore long pants with a white shawl, but I had to hang on tight to keep it around me. Eritrean civilians were the backbone of the fight for liberation. They were courageous and determined to win independence for our country. In the cities, they secretly housed, fed and transported us. When the urban fighters like me sneaked in from the villages, they went to civilian houses to wash and get the lice out of their hair. The clothing, jewelry and lipstick I wore that day came from one family and helped me look like a city girl. At about 5:30 p.m., I was positioned as an ELF lookout on the street. I was waiting for other freedom fighters to carry out a mission before the curfew began at seven o’’clock. Everyone in the urban guerilla group knew his job and how to respond to any circumstances. Once a job was completed, whether we succeeded or not, we knew to immediately leave the scene. The winter sun was setting, making long shadows against the buildings. The target of the guerilla operation was an Eritrean man who had previously surrendered to the Ethiopians. He betrayed us by informing the enemy about our underground operations and hiding places. As a result, fighters were captured, and civilians suddenly faced danger. Our leaders scrambled to find the whereabouts of the traitor. After they got the information from the Ethiopian informants, they gave it to the leaders of our group. They carefully planned the mission and communicated with us secretly. As the traitor returned home we aimed to shoot him on his doorstep. We always hoped we could accomplish the mission with one bullet and minimize the casualties, but it did not always happen. In this case, I heard a shot. Then rapid shooting broke out and I knew we had been discovered by our enemies. Panicked Townspeople came toward me. They were running for their lives. Women carried their children in their hands to keep them from being shot in the back. Many were bleeding. Some collapsed on the sidewalk. Wherever people could find shelter, they hurried inside and locked the doors. The situation quickly went out of control and the street became a battleground. I saw the Ethiopian military behind us, shooting indiscriminately. I did not see my ELF comrades. In the middle of this chaos, I started running with the other civilians. I needed to disappear. I tried to blend in with the people, walking faster and faster as the shots got closer. I made a sharp right turn to separate myself from the crowd and found myself on a residential street, panting and alone. The wind whistled between the buildings, but I did not feel it. When I looked ahead, I saw an Ethiopian in a full military uniform, walking toward me. He was about thirty years old and had a pistol in his belt. He was alert and focused, watching my hands and face. The stranger walked closer and acknowledged me. Behind me, I heard voices, yelling in Amharic, "Catch her! Catch her!" I expected to be shot in the back. I was about to pass the stranger when he took out his pistol and grabbed me by the arm. He pulled me toward him and turned me around. In the process, he must have felt my pistol on my hip, but he said nothing. Suddenly, I faced six soldiers, running toward me with their knives drawn. I was trembling with fear. One of the men fired questions at me. "What are you doing here? Are you one of the bandits? Were you shooting, too?" Before I could speak, he asked more questions. I could not utter one word. I was terrified. Then the stranger spoke. "She is my girlfriend," he said in a calm voice. "She was coming to see me." The soldiers seemed disappointed at his reply and lost interest in me. Five of them dispersed down the street, thinking I was not one of the shooters. They banged with their fists on the cement walls that surrounded the houses, hoping to stumble on one of the shooters. I was shocked to be alive. It seemed so unreal. One soldier stayed and asked more questions. The stranger didn’t answer. He put his pistol back in his belt and took out a wallet to show his ID. "I am with the airborne division," he explained. "I am leaving, and that Jeep is mine." "What is your rank, comrade?" the soldier asked, standing close to us and poking his gun at our faces. I could smell the man’s sweat. "Moto-alka," the stranger answered, still holding my arm ."I am the leader of one hundred men." As the soldier studied the ID, he accidentally banged me with his gun. He did not apologize. He continued asking question. It took a long time, and I thought: Night curfew is near, and some of the wounded will bleed to death tonight. I might die like a homeless dog. I wished I had died when I was stricken with polio at the age of six, or drowned when I later jumped off the bridge to impress my friends. How sad my family will be if they find my body. It will be dragged through the street and thrown in a huge container of limestone water to decompose. I also thought about the stranger--how we might die together. I felt connected to him in some way. He noticed my pain and squeezed my arm as if to say, "Don’’t collapse on me! We will be okay." At last, the soldier dropped his gun from his shoulder and stepped back. In a very disrespectful voice, he told me to open my purse. I saw hatred in his eyes, and he grabbed the purse from me. He took out everything and threw it against me. Usually, I carried my pistol in my purse. But today, it had only a cigarette lighter, some coins, twenty burr (Ethiopian denomination) and a picture of a fashionable, white woman, holding a cigarette. To me, the woman in the advertisement looked modern, like I wanted to look. Although I didn’t like smoking, I was learning how to hold a cigarette, and for some of my assignments, I had to know how to smoke. "What do you do?" he asked me. "I am a student from Keran," I answered. "Are you from Keran?" "Yes,"" I answered. My friend interjected, "She is staying with me. As you know, there is no transportation to or from Keran. Her whole family lives in Keran, so she is with me." The five soldiers returned. The one with stars on his uniform asked me, "Did you see the shooters?" He didn’t wait for my answer. "Did you see who was firing? Was it a woman or a man?" Speechless, I just shook my head. The night curfew was nearing. "I need to be at the base by seven o’’clock," the stranger spoke up. "We need to leave now. That is my Jeep." The soldier wearing stars explained, "I am sorry for the delay. We must check everybody." "I understand," the stranger answered. After saluting the soldiers, he took my arm, and we walked away like lovers. He opened the Jeep door for me, and we quickly left for the military base. While driving, he looked cautiously in every direction. The town was quiet, but bloody bodies were scattered on the sidewalk. I counted thirteen Eritreans. The green-uniformed soldiers, who were everywhere, were picking up the bodies. The wind blew hard, and I held my shawl tightly. Then he turned and asked me, "Do you have a gun?" I hesitated to answer. He asked me again, and I told him the truth. I answered quietly, suddenly frightened. "Drop your gun on the floor of the Jeep, under my feet," he demanded. He saw my face. "Do it now." I looked around and pulled out my pistol. I dropped it at the feet of this man who I barely knew. He put the gun in his shirt pocket and kept driving west toward the military base. When we neared the checkpoint of the base, he said, "I’’m going to tell them you are my girlfriend. Be on your best behavior. Do not make eye contact with anyone and hide your face." In the Ethiopian military compound, the soldiers recognized him and assumed I was his mistress for the night. To my surprise, they didn’t ask for identification of him or of me. Although women weren’t allowed there, it was understood that Ethiopian men were charming and had a weakness for women. He parked his Jeep in front of a busy, dormitory-like house filled with many young soldiers. I looked down. I had been there before for some jobs, and I knew a few underground contacts. If they recognized me, things could get out of hand. My friend introduced me to his comrades as "Yaneynsh," a term of endearment. For a brief moment, his caring felt real. I had a new name, a new life. He was a respectable man, and he liked books. There was a group of Marxist books by his bed side alongside the bible. He seemed unhappy about the killing going on in Asmara. I sat on his bed. Pictures of his family hung on the wall of his bunk. Many of the young men in the barrack talked and laughed. To get permission for me to spend the night, my friend had to ask the general for approval. I saw fear in his eyes. He was risking his safety and maybe regretting what he did. "Don’’t be frightened," he told me, as he tossed a book in my lap. "Here, read the Bible. We’ll need it tonight." The general gave him permission for me to stay and left. I didn’t know what would happen to me that night. My friend brought me food, but I worried that it was poisoned and only drank the tea. Night fell. He put the sleeping bag on the floor and gave me his bed. "Don’’t do anything stupid," he said and went to sleep. I tried not to sleep, but finally my body gave up. As I slept, I dreamed about my mother. Then it was morning. I was still alive. After the end of the morning curfew, he drove me back into Asmara. "Listen," he told me in a soft, firm voice, "I’’m going to drop you off at the market. Go to your mother and continue your education. If I see you here again, I will kill you myself." He never asked my name or anything about me, but he knew my circumstances. He saw I was a young, uneducated, Eritrean girl, involved in a fight much bigger than she could comprehend. Risking his own safety, he reached out and saved my life. There are no words deep enough to thank him. EDITOR’S NOTE: For her personal safety, the author’s name has been concealed. |
||||||